Family and Significant Others
Family members and significant others are affected by an eating disorder. By the time a client has entered a treatment program, it is likely that their relationships have been damaged and communication is impaired or even non-existent. We encourage family members and/or significant others to become involved in each client's treatment.
By exploring family history and communication patterns, and by identifying both supportive and sabotaging behaviors, we help all those involved improve personal behaviors and relationships with each other.
For the Family
- Focus on feelings and interpersonal relationships - not on food and weight. Family members are often the forgotten members, especially other children. It is important that they talk about their feelings.
- Do not let the eating disordered family member disrupt the entire household. The family should go on with their lives as normally as possible.
- Do not allow the eating disorder family member to shop, cook or feed the family. Do not let the eating disordered family member dominate the rest of the family's eating patterns. In nurturing others, eating disorder sufferers are denying their own need for food. Families should go on with normal eating patterns. These details will need to be worked out with the therapist.
- Set limits in a caring, reasonable, but firm manner.
- Help the family show affection and appreciation for each other. Underneath disordered eating is a lack of self-worth; thus unconditional love goes a long way.
- Work on how to avoid power struggles and find alternative ways of dealing with problems as they arrive. Let the therapist and/or physician deal with "highly-charged" issues such as weight.
- Realize that there are no quick solutions. Demanding change, and/or berating the eating disordered family member will not bring about change or a positive result. Be patient.
- Avoid having the eating disordered family member make too many decisions about food and other issues. Control is a big issue that must be addressed in therapy. One can not attempt to over-control the eating disordered family member. The therapist can help balance out these issues.
- Parents will need to examine alternatives to their current behaviors (i.e., yelling, pleading, etc.). Family members should write in journals, write letters to each other, call the therapist, and write down situations that they need assistance with and provide them to the therapist in family sessions.
- The family needs to talk about all kinds of issues - not just focus on the problems or the eating disorder.
Featured Resource for Family Members:
Your Dieting Daughter: Is She Dying for Attention? by Carolyn Costin, M.A., M.Ed. MFT published by Brunner/Mazel, New York, New York (1997). See
Books Section
Eating Disorder Awareness & Prevention: Year 2008
The EDCC is pleased to announce our sponsorship of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (NEDAW)! NEDAW is the nation's largest eating disorders outreach effort. During NEDAW health care providers, teachers, social workers, students and eating disorder professionals work to promote healthy body image and prevent eating disorders by distributing educational materials and organizing awareness raising events on their campuses and in their communities. To learn more about NEDAW visit
www.nationaleatingdisorders.org.
